Dear Mr. President

December 23, 2018
dear mr. president

President Donald Trump

Dear Mr. President:

I’m one of your constituents. I write because I’m concerned about you. Very concerned!

You tell us regularly that we’re not paying attention to your accomplishments. Wall under construction. Tax cuts. Stock market at record levels. No more nukes in North Korea. NATO nations—not allies, just nations—paying more bigly, because of you. Black Americans better off then ever before. And, always, you’re da Best!

We hear a different story, but that’s all Fake News, right? That’s what you say, almost every day, on Twitter. Must be true, for you’re our POTUS. You’d never tell a tale, Mr. President, would you. Not you.

Still, here you are, stuck in a public housing dump in the middle of Washington, when you should be on vacation with your kind of people, at your grand Mar-A-Lago club. And all because some nasty people won’t spend money for Wall. Don’t they understand anything? You promised Wall. Beautiful Wall. (Yes, you told us Mexico would pay for it, but when you did that you were “telling it like it is.” And we all knew “telling it like it is” means: Ignore. Me.)

With all you have done, sir, why should you be missing your Christmas break? Having to find a replacement for a retired general / Secretary of Defense who dissed you so ineffectively that you only learned about what he really meant from the Lying Media? Identifying all of the other people you don’t need to fill a bunch of government jobs?  Going to meetings? Reading memos? Talking with Nancy and Chuck? Running the country single-handedly?

You’ve done enough, Mr. President. Remember when bankruptcies. Surely, your lawyers told you’d done your best and had a right to say Uncle, fiel for Chapter 11 and move on? Don’t recall your bankruptcies? They were Fake News? No worries. Here’s a more recent opportunity for reflection. Within the last few days you declared victory in the Middle East and told bring our boys and girls they’re coming home. Brilliant move, and an indicator: declare victory, tell those who oppose you you’re done with them, and catch the next flight to Palm Beach.

We don’t deserve you, Mr. President. We certainly don’t deserve any more of what you call winning. Sir, you have managed to unite almost 60% of Americans around one simple issue: You! That’s no small feat. Call it a win and scram, before something really bad goes really wrong.

Yours truly, truly,



P.S. Not Fake News: I’ve got money on your not being president at 11:59 p.m. on December 31, 2018. Real money. Work with me, sir. Move along!

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