Happy Father’s Day 2017

June 17, 2017

Happy Father’s Day 2017

Well, Father’s Day 2017 is upon us (or here or gone, depending on when you read this post.) This is my 24th as a father, and I shared a total of 44 with my dad.

I like Father’s Day. Lots. I have my two-part ritual, developed over the past 15 years or so and have missed it only twice. In 2009 I attended an old friend’s memorial service back East in 2009. (RIP, SH; we miss you!) And last year I skipped half of my ritual, opting for Raider of the Lost Ark at the Loft Cinema. Details here.

Part one involves watching the last day of the U.S. Open. I don’t play golf anymore. Too painful for me, and even more painful for those with whom I am paired. (I gave the clubs away.) And I only watch the one day of televised golf.

I really enjoy the last day of the U.S. Open. The schmaltzy commercials that play up father-son relationships and how serious golfers are about their golf. Stories that get created for every Open about the leaders’ relationships with their dads. A very challenging course. And in most years there’s one heckuva finish. Not always, but usually!

This year the Open will be played at Erin Hills in Erin, WI. Finished in 2006, the course was built for the purpose of hosting the U.S. Open. At the end of the second round, four golfers—Paul Casey, Tommy Fleetwood, Brian Harman, and Brooks Koepka—led at -7 to par.

Now, if I really tried to just watch the golf, I’d surely fall asleep. So there is part two: I polish all of my shoes. Every last pair, and it’s one of my least favorite tasks! For some pairs, it’s an annual event. (Others get periodic polish / Dr. Martens Wonder Balsam.) They all welcome the moisture and the chance to shine, and for me it’s a little something that lasts, after the day has passed.

In 2014 I ran across a special piece by Mark Bittman, Bagels, Lox and Me, from the April 29, 2014 issue of the New York Times. I posted it, it’s worth yet another mention, and I’ll get back to it in a bit.

Food was a big deal in our house, growing up. I’m sure the Depression mattered. My dad was born in 1933, and his father was an attorney, so I think my dad caught the tail end of something that was less than awful for his family. Still, my American history knowledge tells me everyone—save some, and only some, of the wealthiest—felt the impact of the bad times. Maybe there was more to it. I never asked, and am wishing I had.

Food mattered in funny ways. We always had lots of cans. Canned food lasts, and I’m sure it was “in the genes” that no one will take it away.

Whatever we bought, we had to buy good brands. No store labels. White, albacore tuna in water. S&W vegetables. Heinz ketchup. Etc. (Actually, canned tuna packed in oil tastes better.)

My dad was always a three-meal-a-day man. Later in life, travel with him challenged me, for we’d have a late, large breakfast, worry about lunch, and not want to eat dinner too late. Trips revolved around meals. Sadly, the stomach I own cannot handle three squares a day, restaurant-style. Still, I soldiered on! (In more recent years, I have developed an appreciation for the Caesar Salad, light on the cheese, no croutons, and dressing on the side. A bowl of fresh Romaine lettuce gets you ready for the next meal very well!)

Two food memories stand out for me. First, my dad liked smoked oysters. Actually, like many Jews whose grandparents observed Kashrut laws, he rebelled as an adult, so we ate plenty of traife: shellfish, pork, Chinese food, and pepperoni pizzas.

Smoked oysters were special, though. They were a delicacy, shared, but only on a “one child at a time” basis. Not so often that they became ordinary, but often enough that I have the memory of a shared treat. A special memory, and it’s one which I suspect my sisters also recall.

And the other ritual involved Sunday brunch. I have very fond memories of brunch when I was in law school and my sister Pam was in college. Family, sorority sisters—cute—who my sister brought home, and plenty of good food! I don’t know how much lox we had—I’m sure it was more than the half of a quarter the Bittman family bought for six in the 1930s—but we always had a nice spread, and lots of banter back and forth.

With these happy memories in mind, may you all have a delightful weekend, an especially fine Sunday, and a very happy Father’s Day.

3 Responses to Happy Father’s Day 2017

  • Mark, may the memories you have of your father be a blessing. I am so glad you have such a wonderful ritual around Father’s Day. We never seemed to develop one in our family, unfortunately. But it is still a great day for me to reflect on the 20 Father’s Days I had with my dad, and relish those memories.

    • Thanks. Struggling a bit, as three pairs of shoes are getting new heals and soles, and I can’t find the Doc Marten grease for the remaining shoes. Still, the day works … and there is a tin of smoked oysters awaiting me.

  • My dad loved smoked oysters too. He was born 20 years before your dad and lived thru the depression. Happy Fathers Day!

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